


These Memories Follow Me Around

by perfectionisntforme



Series: You Sound Like A Song: Matt and Elektra put to music. [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: College, Depression, Elektra through Matt's eyes, F/M, Matthew Murdoch's thoughts, Post-Break Up, Pre-Canon, Roman Catholicism, Slight Character Study, Spoilers for s02e05, wildest dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 19:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6389305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectionisntforme/pseuds/perfectionisntforme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He always imagined her as especially beautiful, in a deep red dress with her lips painted to match.  </p><p>Matthew Murdoch's thoughts after Elektra leaves him at the mansion alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Memories Follow Me Around

These Memories Follow Me Around 

He had thought that they would be forever. It had taken three days for him to realize that things were over and since then there had been so many moments where he thought that maybe he should have... If killing the man that took his father from him would have kept her for him than surely it would be worth the blood on his hands. All things were forgiven through Christ, confession and repentance and all things were better in Matt’s life with Elektra.

Matt didn’t know how long it had been since he had come to the realization that Elektra wouldn’t be calling him back but he had went from the denial of grief for his relationship straight into the depression. He knew that was what this was, the physically heavy feeling in his chest that seem to paralyze him if he thought of going to class, or even just sitting up in bed. 

Bless Foggy, for he had tried his best. He tried to get to go to any of his classes, but the thought of sitting in the Greek class he had taken for her. After she had told him one night in bed that she would never tell him what she was really saying to him when she choose Greek over English. The thought of sitting in that class made him physically want to vomit. Foggy had even offered to go to Mass with him, but even something that had once brought him such peace just felt… empty. (He urged Foggy to go, even with out him.)

Instead of going to class Matt spent his days in a cocoon of silk sheets, wondering how he ever thought he would be able to keep her.

Elektra had always been so much. Matt didn’t have words for how alive she had made him feel. She never seemed to be afraid, always convincing him to get out of town, way from the city, away from his city. Heaven help him he followed her and he never wanted to stop following her. But that choice was made for him and heaven can’t help him now. 

Matt lost his father when he was young, he knows nothing last forever but he… He had, no, he still loves her. He wanted that love to be enough. He still wants to see their children. He still wants to know what it would be like to be by her side forever. Elektra had never shied away from talk of their future together, but now she had left him. 

Her words from that night, some of the last words she had said to him, rattled around his brain constantly. “I thought you understood me.’ So had he. Elektra understood everything about him, he had thought it had went both ways but after that night... Roughing up someone who had done wrong, someone who deserved a few hits the justice system couldn't land was something he could repent for, but murder in the cold blood, surely the answer had to be No? But maybe Elektra was worth acts Matt couldn’t repent for. 

Elektra lived like a woman who didn’t know the word no because that was what she was. He couldn’t place why, weather it was her fathers money or her attitude, or perhaps she had the kind of face that made one say yes. He always imagined her as especially beautiful, in a deep red dress with her lips painted to match.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a text post from mattchios on tumblr about what happened in the time after she left him, the song Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift and my own soul crushing break up a few years ago. 
> 
> Also, sorry if I got any of the Catholic stuff wrong, I am merely a heretic.


End file.
